Interview De Los Prophets
by Timelong
Summary: We interview the three prophets on the new Take On Others! show.  Chapter 2 is the original, unedited version. It is clean, however.
1. Chapter 1

AN: Just something I made up while running. This is intended to be a oneshot, but can be made into other characters. Wanted to post it before I forgot.

Disclaimer: Bungie owns Halo. The idea is purely mine.

Interview De Los Prophets

Interviewer: Welcome, everybody! Our premier on Take On Others is here! And our first guests are non other than the three Prophets of the Covenant!

_enter Prophets of Regret, Mercy, and Truth_

Interviewer: Now lets start with you, Regret. Now tell me, how is it like not to have power, because clearly, Truth is in control, while at the same time, you are an equal. Or supposed to be?

Regret: My regret is that I didn't read the fine print... Oh, it gave me power, but the fine print revoked all of it. It also gave Gravemind the rights to use me...

Interviewer: Great! So you are the Prophet Hothead here! Now lets hop onto Mercy! Mercy, how come you don't have any power?

Mercy: Oh, I didn't ask for any. The ad stated that I would get this bozo awesome chair here, a headdress that is VERY IN, a Halo on my forehead, and you cant forget the fancy speeches.

Interviewer: Grea-

Mercy: And you can't forget that as I'm named mercy, I'm in charge of the Covenant court system.

_enter a Grunt_

Mercy: Grunt, you are here tried for treason, rebellion, and the aiding of Humans. What is your defense?

Grunt: Me rebells because me a Grunt!

Interviewer: ... May Mercy have mercy on your soul Grunt...

_lightning strikes down on Mercy, Mercy dies. Grunt happily skips off with cries of "I'm Free!"_

Interviewer: Wow! That was some cool Mercy there. Now Truth, what is your story? Why are you in total control, but you don't get rid of the other two, err... one.

Truth: Look, this is very simple. If I was alone, I would have had to learn the Evil Laugh. At least with them, I don't have to learn it. One of them can if needed.

Interviewer: Haha! That is PATHETIC! Ha, ha! Muahahahah! Buahahahaha!

Mercy: Oh, you shut the F#$ up!

_Master Chief enters, blows Truth to Kingdom Come_

MC: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!

the end.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: This is it. The original, unedited, several years old version that I cam up while 'high on life' during an awesome trail hill run. A few years have passed, and I want to add something to the Halo section while Researching The Past is getting somewhere. Halo started my fan-fiction career, so I don't want to give up on it. Naturally, this story is well, crack, and not like my new stories, which are long detailed, and hopefully, thoughtful.

Besides, when you are running, up a hill, are you going to add detail? You need the oxygen saved, not wasted.

Note: there are some variations due to an imperfect memory. This is as close as it will get to the original. But even still it will be very similar to the version I posted several years ago.

Interview De Los Prophets mark 1.

Interviewer: Welcome everyone! today we interview the Covenant Prophets! Now tell me, Regret, why are you named the Prophet of Regret?

Regret: I regret that I didn't read the fine print in the contract. I thought that I had power... _Looks at a few mice under his command. _I guess that I should have read the fine print instead of just signing that contract...

Interviewer: And what about you, Mercy?

Mercy: hey, don't look at me! I came for this bozo chair here, and the fancy speeches. I also get this great Halo on my forehead. Of course, I don't give any mercy.

Interviewer: That's quite a story! And what about you, Prophet of Truth?

Truth: Look, it's very simple. If I was alone, I would have to learn the evil laugh! And I can't! Listed: Muah, Ha, Ha, Ha, ha, ha, ha... At least with the others, I can pretend that I am not the main guy, and not have to do anything that evil people do.

* * *

AN: As you can see, this version is much shorter than the other one. (Most of the energy went into running, not creating this). Which is why I posted the other one first. The only reason I decided to post this was because I actually like this version better (At least the circumstances behind its creation).

So this is my second attempt at crazy humor that is not long. I am aware that this version will most likely not as liked as the first, but this will always remain in my heart as the true one.

Kinda lame that the Author note has a higher word count than the story...


End file.
